Lizardpeople TodayAll the news beneath the surface. A satirical newspaper by Kevin Spahn.https://lizardpeople.today/en-usShadow Council admits most world events are happening without its involvementhttps://lizardpeople.today/stories/council-loses-control/https://lizardpeople.today/stories/council-loses-control/Satire. An internal review finds humanity is perfectly capable of making things weird on its own. ‘Frankly, we’ve been taking a lot of undeserved credit.’Sat, 03 Oct 2026 00:00:00 GMTWorld AffairsSatireSupreme Overlord takes first proper holiday in 6,000 yearshttps://lizardpeople.today/stories/overlord-on-holiday/https://lizardpeople.today/stories/overlord-on-holiday/Satire. ‘The empire will still be there on Monday,’ says a reptile who has checked his messages 43 times since breakfast.Sat, 03 Oct 2026 00:00:00 GMTLeisureSatireHuman-suit rents rise for seventh consecutive molthttps://lizardpeople.today/stories/human-suit-rent/https://lizardpeople.today/stories/human-suit-rent/Satire. Young reptiles are being priced out of convincing middle-management disguises.Sat, 03 Oct 2026 00:00:00 GMTBusinessSatireNew study finds rock still warmhttps://lizardpeople.today/stories/rock-still-warm/https://lizardpeople.today/stories/rock-still-warm/Satire. Researchers call for an additional six hours of close, personal investigation.Sat, 03 Oct 2026 00:00:00 GMTScienceSatireCouple insists nursery heat lamp is ‘a Scandinavian thing’https://lizardpeople.today/stories/heat-lamp-interiors/https://lizardpeople.today/stories/heat-lamp-interiors/Satire. Neighbors also encouraged not to overthink the decorative egg clutch.Sat, 03 Oct 2026 00:00:00 GMTSocietySatireOpinion: we must stop saying the quiet part in ultrasonic frequencieshttps://lizardpeople.today/stories/quiet-part-ultrasonic/https://lizardpeople.today/stories/quiet-part-ultrasonic/Satire. The dogs can hear us. This should not need to be explained again.Sat, 03 Oct 2026 00:00:00 GMTOpinionSatireAI boom leaves ancient reptilian empire fighting for a plug sockethttps://lizardpeople.today/stories/data-centre-heat-lamp/https://lizardpeople.today/stories/data-centre-heat-lamp/Satire. The council supports technological progress, provided somebody leaves the basking lamp plugged in.Sat, 03 Oct 2026 00:00:00 GMTBusinessSatireLunar residents request more notice before next flybyhttps://lizardpeople.today/stories/lunar-neighborhood/https://lizardpeople.today/stories/lunar-neighborhood/Satire. After Artemis II, the Moon's least official neighborhood association is revisiting its curtain policy.Sat, 03 Oct 2026 00:00:00 GMTWorld AffairsSatire