SOMEWHERE WARM — The Supreme Overlord has finally used some of his accrued leave, arriving at a tropical resort with one carry-on bag, three encrypted phones, and a promise to his family that this time would be different.
The trip marks his first uninterrupted holiday since a long weekend in the Bronze Age was cut short by a situation involving copper.
“I’ve delegated everything,” he told our leisure correspondent, while composing a 900-word response to an email marked “No action required.” “The council is more than capable of handling a few days without me.”
Resort staff report that the Overlord has adapted well to windsurfing, though his initial attempt to appoint a deputy to manage the wind was unsuccessful.
His instructor described him as a willing student with “a slightly unusual relationship to authority.” When asked to bend his knees, he convened a brief advisory panel before complying.
The family has agreed on a firm rule: no empire talk before dinner. A separate clarification established that muttering “this would make an excellent forward base” while looking at a beach also counts.
At press time, the Overlord was enjoying a quiet moment on the water, far from the pressures of global administration. His out-of-office reply had just instructed recipients to contact him directly in an emergency, a non-emergency, or if anything interesting happened.