THE FAR SIDE — The Far Side Residents’ Association has welcomed NASA’s confirmation that its next crewed Moon mission will not, strictly speaking, go to the Moon.
Artemis III will instead send four astronauts to low Earth orbit next year to test the systems needed for later landings. NASA will update its plans for a 2028 return to the lunar surface at a briefing on October 23, which the association intends to watch from behind the large rock.
“We were delighted to see Artemis II go round,” said chairperson Norma Crater. “We are even more delighted to see Artemis III go round something else.”
The association had been preparing for a landing for some time. One subcommittee drafted a welcome sign. A second subcommittee voted to take it down. The community center has been repainted twice, in progressively less suspicious greys, and the recycling bins no longer spell anything.
The new timetable gives residents until at least 2028, which the treasurer described as “enough time to do the curtains properly.”
Members also used the meeting to answer a question that surface-dwellers often ask online: if humans landed on the Moon in 1969, why did it take them so long to try again?
“They did land. We watched,” Crater said. “Several of us still have the footprints roped off. Why they didn’t come back is a matter for their budget committee. We had nothing to do with it, apart from the sign.”
The meeting then considered a motion to formally deny reports that the Moon is hollow. After a long debate, the motion was amended to state that the Moon is “not substantially hollow,” following a reminder from the planning officer that the association dug a basement in 1974.
A resident asked whether the basement should be declared before NASA’s crews begin working near the lunar South Pole. The planning officer replied that the basement is on the far side, that the crews will be busy at the pole, and that the association would “cross that crater when we come to it.”
A long-standing member then complained that Earth can never be seen from the residents’ side of the Moon. The chair explained, for the fourth consecutive year, that this is the entire point of living there.
The next meeting will take place behind the large rock. Members are asked to bring a folding chair and not to wave at anything in low Earth orbit, as it may be practicing.